Homesickness

I wrote this a week ago today on a word document but wasn't able to post it...so this was written March 16th...

Well it happened, I finally feel homesick, well a little homesick and a little unsure of myself. Don’t get me wrong things are still wonderful but after a tour we had yesterday of a care center in Missionvale township in Port Elizabeth I felt a little unsure of myself. I began to question my purpose here and if I was fulfilling it, and if I was doing enough. I started wondering if I was making full use of the limited time in this country that I have. I struggled with all of the kind words people have said about what I am doing here because I wasn’t sure if it was all so well deserved or if when I write in my blog it’s too easy to become self-centered and make myself sound great. Which led me to questioning if this blog was a good thing or just a place for me to be self-centered and ramble!



Well, after talking to my mom I realized that I decided to blog for me so I just need to be honest so I have this collection of memories and experiences when I come home along with those from my journal. I also realized that I am doing enough, and that I have grown. We are not made to be perfect and I can’t totally change this country overnight, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have some sort of an impact even if it is on just one child. I also need to remember that I am growing and that will give me the chance to come home and affect people and be more open to people having an impact on me in the US. It was essential for me to remember and put into perspective that the experiences I have on this trip won’t leave me when I leave the country, I will forever have them with me, therefore the experience I have here will be ongoing as I remember things and share stories with everyone at home!


So the secret is out all problems, struggling, and uncertainty have not disappeared they were just under the surface for awhile! Already after sharing them I feel a sense of relief.  Plus homesickness is natural it would be crazy if I didn't get to have this side of the experience as well!

All my love,
Megan